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Thursday, December 10, 2015

Micro Mini Kids

          I was up this morning and looking for a little time to kill. I searched through the free pay per view movies and scoured the tiles for the shortest film on the menu. I believe I found it. This film at only 88 minutes is incredibly appropriate considering the storyline.

     Thus said story line is as follows. A high school nerd is in love with the most beautiful girl in school. Been there done that. She’s dating of course the stereotypical high school jock and all around school bully. Suddenly My high school days all coming back to me. Stop me if you’ve heard this one before she actually has feelings for our main character. Ok this is where I can not relate.

     The characters are all cliché an contrite. The screenwriters can barley call themselves writers more like graffiti artists. I don’t mean that old fashioned graffiti I grew up with in Philly either.
I’m refereeing to the painfully ugly crap you see on the walls now a days happily sprayed their by the local downtown gangs. Used to mark their territory like dogs peeing on a tree in the back yard.

     Much like that aforementioned eluded to Elmwood this movie is worthy of being peed on. Or even yet the other function the dog does in your backyard. That’s right I just compared this monstrosity and general waste of time to a pile of dog doo. This thing ( I wont call it a movie) deserves to be dumped in the outside trash can and pilled into the local trash dump like so many other films I’ve reviewed.

     Jules Vern and Isaac Asimov should be turning over in their graves because Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea and The Fantastic Journey are heavily homaged or should I say ripped off in this deplorable excuse for a movie. The creative combination of two such Genius Sic Fi writing legends are the only redeeming quality in this waste of a morning and  the 15 minutes or so it took me to right this review.

                        Grade D-

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A note from an editor!

Hi Matthew,

Thank you for the time and effort you put into this piece, especially on a Saturday morning. I can tell you definitely took good notes of everything that was going on during the event!

We still have some work to do before this piece is ready to print. Your piece has a lot of information, but it doesn’t sound like a news article. What was the point of his speech/presentation? Why was he addressing this audience? What is Vanguard? What does the company do – who does it serve? You spend a lot of time narrating (for example, how he was injured), but did not report on the purpose of the event. You can maybe mention his appearance/joking about it in a sentence or two, but do not take several paragraphs to do so. Also, I like how you mentioned where the name “Vanguard” comes from.

There are a lot of spelling errors in this piece – make sure you proof read each sentence carefully.

I know I am getting back to you a little later I hoped, and I’m sorry about that! But if you have time tonight, please go through my suggestions and try to rework your piece. You can send me what you have tonight/tomorrow morning. Please bring a copy of it to the meeting tomorrow and we will discuss it further from there.

Once again, thanks for your hard work and promptness! Remember this is a learning process, and we are all part of the Waltonian team!

Talk to you soon!

Ten Most pathetic movie stars that still have careers.

(In A - B -C Order)

1. Hayden Christensen

2. Tom Crusie

3. Kevin Costner

4. Keeanu Reeves

5. Denise Richards

6. Adam Sandler

7. Arnold Schwarzenegger

8. William Shatner

9. Sylvester Stalloan

10. John Claude Van dahm