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Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Two Lovers

Magnolia Pictures and 2029 Productions has managed a new feat. They somehow put an odd ball like Joaquin Phoenix, a stunner like Gwyneth Paltrow and the very attractive newbie Vinessa Shaw in the same movie (about a love triangle no less) and managed to make it boring as Hell. No wonder he’s ‘retiring’! This is the first movie I saw at Bryn Mawr Theater and did not mange to go ape for. I instead was lulled to sleep by nearly two hours (110 minutes to be exact) of mind numbing boredom. You would think a film where the main character is suicidal in the opening scene and falls in love with two beautiful woman a few minutes later would be exciting. You’d be wrong. After seeing this doldrums like, dreary excuse for an Art House Film I have no doubt why Mr. Phoenix is changing professions. Perhaps he will arise from the ashes. Assuming of course they haven’t been swept away in the garbage pail where they belong, right next to the script for this movie. I don’t mind darkness mind you. I saw Revolutionary Road from the very same squeaking theater chair. I loved that movie. It actually had a plot. You know what plot is don’t you; it contains intrigue, contrast, and character. This movie had none of those these aforementioned qualities. It was simply horrid. I know this is begging to sound like one of my bitch sessions Jill. We guess what there ain't much to do after wasting an entire evening watching this deplorable piece of refuge. Thanks God I didn’t pay anything for this flick. Since flick is exactly what I want to do with this dismal garbage heap, flick it in the trash can. Grade F

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A note from an editor!

Hi Matthew,


Thank you for the time and effort you put into this piece, especially on a Saturday morning. I can tell you definitely took good notes of everything that was going on during the event!


We still have some work to do before this piece is ready to print. Your piece has a lot of information, but it doesn’t sound like a news article. What was the point of his speech/presentation? Why was he addressing this audience? What is Vanguard? What does the company do – who does it serve? You spend a lot of time narrating (for example, how he was injured), but did not report on the purpose of the event. You can maybe mention his appearance/joking about it in a sentence or two, but do not take several paragraphs to do so. Also, I like how you mentioned where the name “Vanguard” comes from.


There are a lot of spelling errors in this piece – make sure you proof read each sentence carefully.


I know I am getting back to you a little later I hoped, and I’m sorry about that! But if you have time tonight, please go through my suggestions and try to rework your piece. You can send me what you have tonight/tomorrow morning. Please bring a copy of it to the meeting tomorrow and we will discuss it further from there.


Once again, thanks for your hard work and promptness! Remember this is a learning process, and we are all part of the Waltonian team!


Talk to you soon!


Ten Most pathetic movie stars that still have careers.

(In A - B -C Order)


1. Hayden Christensen


2. Tom Crusie


3. Kevin Costner


4. Keeanu Reeves


5. Denise Richards


6. Adam Sandler


7. Arnold Schwarzenegger


8. William Shatner


9. Sylvester Stalloan


10. John Claude Van dahm