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Thursday, April 25, 2013

My First Little League Game

It May 2nd a warm summer like day in Pennsylvania. It was the day after my cousin’s weeding. I was invited up to my first little league game. The weather was warm and perfect and the sunny was shinning down on us at a Wakefield Park. The Pirates were the visitors and they played host to the Astros. There were two teams of 7 year olds (or so) and they both seemed to be having fun. The Pirates in yellow came out on top of the Astros in red. Both teams got some timely hits but it seemed to be the pirates whom always had the bases loaded and this is the team that came out on top. One Coach says the score was 14-4. Drew C of the Pirates insisted they only won by 5. I will take his word over the coach since he is good with numbers and was actually playing the game. It was a fun day at the ballpark regardless. The aforementioned Drew C. had several members in attendance including his grandmother and two cousins. We all had fun and agreed to do it again in the future. Grade D (For Drew)

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A note from an editor!

Hi Matthew,

Thank you for the time and effort you put into this piece, especially on a Saturday morning. I can tell you definitely took good notes of everything that was going on during the event!

We still have some work to do before this piece is ready to print. Your piece has a lot of information, but it doesn’t sound like a news article. What was the point of his speech/presentation? Why was he addressing this audience? What is Vanguard? What does the company do – who does it serve? You spend a lot of time narrating (for example, how he was injured), but did not report on the purpose of the event. You can maybe mention his appearance/joking about it in a sentence or two, but do not take several paragraphs to do so. Also, I like how you mentioned where the name “Vanguard” comes from.

There are a lot of spelling errors in this piece – make sure you proof read each sentence carefully.

I know I am getting back to you a little later I hoped, and I’m sorry about that! But if you have time tonight, please go through my suggestions and try to rework your piece. You can send me what you have tonight/tomorrow morning. Please bring a copy of it to the meeting tomorrow and we will discuss it further from there.

Once again, thanks for your hard work and promptness! Remember this is a learning process, and we are all part of the Waltonian team!

Talk to you soon!

Ten Most pathetic movie stars that still have careers.

(In A - B -C Order)

1. Hayden Christensen

2. Tom Crusie

3. Kevin Costner

4. Keeanu Reeves

5. Denise Richards

6. Adam Sandler

7. Arnold Schwarzenegger

8. William Shatner

9. Sylvester Stalloan

10. John Claude Van dahm