Thursday, January 14, 2016
Star Wars: Episode II Attack of the Clones
A note from an editor!
Thank you for the time and effort you put into this piece, especially on a Saturday morning. I can tell you definitely took good notes of everything that was going on during the event!
We still have some work to do before this piece is ready to print. Your piece has a lot of information, but it doesn’t sound like a news article. What was the point of his speech/presentation? Why was he addressing this audience? What is Vanguard? What does the company do – who does it serve? You spend a lot of time narrating (for example, how he was injured), but did not report on the purpose of the event. You can maybe mention his appearance/joking about it in a sentence or two, but do not take several paragraphs to do so. Also, I like how you mentioned where the name “Vanguard” comes from.
There are a lot of spelling errors in this piece – make sure you proof read each sentence carefully.
I know I am getting back to you a little later I hoped, and I’m sorry about that! But if you have time tonight, please go through my suggestions and try to rework your piece. You can send me what you have tonight/tomorrow morning. Please bring a copy of it to the meeting tomorrow and we will discuss it further from there.
Once again, thanks for your hard work and promptness! Remember this is a learning process, and we are all part of the Waltonian team!
Talk to you soon!
Ten Most pathetic movie stars that still have careers.
(In A - B -C Order)
1. Hayden Christensen
2. Tom Crusie
3. Kevin Costner
4. Keeanu Reeves
5. Denise Richards
6. Adam Sandler
7. Arnold Schwarzenegger
8. William Shatner
9. Sylvester Stalloan
10. John Claude Van dahm