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Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Urban Legend

In the world of tired horror movie cliché’s and beat up worn out 90’s teenybopper characters this movie rises to the top of it’s class. In the reality of creative original movies this flick sinks to the bottom of the ocean. Every character in this movie is pleasing to the eye of it’s teenage audience. Whether it’s a dye blonde Joshua Jackson. A Michael Rosenbaum in his pre Smallville days when he actually had a full head of hair or Jared Leto as the handsome hunky school newspaper reporter who is always getting in trouble with his poison pen. Don’t worry guys there is plenty of eye candy for you as well. Alicia Witt is the fire haired spartan who is non toxic in this horror film. Rebecca Gayheart is present too. She shines with her Noxzema perfect skin curly brown locks under those astonishing, mesmerizing, and hypnotic blue eyes. Lets not forget the token and loveable blonde Tara Reid fills out the trinity of perfection of beauty in this cast that makes this movie both a pleasure for the libido as well as a chili to the heart. (for a 90’s horror movie that is) While this movie definitely has is creative death sequences and some particularly bloody corpses. (you actually watch them turn in to corpses) it does not contain a grain of original or intelligent fright however. It simply follows in the footsteps of it’s previous 90’s teen filled horror films such as 1996’s Scream or 1997’s I Know What You Did Last Summer. The only exception with this outing is it didn’t star a Party of Five leading lady who is a pleasure to intake on the big and small screen. Much like it’s previous mentioned horror movie outings it does have a trifecta of worthy leading ladies. One in particualr with something to hide in her past and a creepy killer out to exact their revenge by killing of their friends left and right. Not to mention of couple of misplaced older adults along the way. What this movie was is tired. I literally had to lie down afterwards. What this movie isn’t is truly freighting, horror flied, or even remotely scary. At least not in the style of true horror movie reality. I’ll admit my heart did skip a beat a few times but that not because I was scared but because I realized I spent $5.29 to rent this disaster of a shipwreck from Blockbuster. Grade C-

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A note from an editor!

Hi Matthew,

Thank you for the time and effort you put into this piece, especially on a Saturday morning. I can tell you definitely took good notes of everything that was going on during the event!

We still have some work to do before this piece is ready to print. Your piece has a lot of information, but it doesn’t sound like a news article. What was the point of his speech/presentation? Why was he addressing this audience? What is Vanguard? What does the company do – who does it serve? You spend a lot of time narrating (for example, how he was injured), but did not report on the purpose of the event. You can maybe mention his appearance/joking about it in a sentence or two, but do not take several paragraphs to do so. Also, I like how you mentioned where the name “Vanguard” comes from.

There are a lot of spelling errors in this piece – make sure you proof read each sentence carefully.

I know I am getting back to you a little later I hoped, and I’m sorry about that! But if you have time tonight, please go through my suggestions and try to rework your piece. You can send me what you have tonight/tomorrow morning. Please bring a copy of it to the meeting tomorrow and we will discuss it further from there.

Once again, thanks for your hard work and promptness! Remember this is a learning process, and we are all part of the Waltonian team!

Talk to you soon!

Ten Most pathetic movie stars that still have careers.

(In A - B -C Order)

1. Hayden Christensen

2. Tom Crusie

3. Kevin Costner

4. Keeanu Reeves

5. Denise Richards

6. Adam Sandler

7. Arnold Schwarzenegger

8. William Shatner

9. Sylvester Stalloan

10. John Claude Van dahm