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Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels

I was once told by an English teacher in middle school. If the plot of a movie can be summed up in just one sentence then it isn’t a good movie. The movie in question was a Friday The 13th sequel. (we all know how lame they are) This movie is even worse. The plot of the movie is as follows. Four lackeys are pushing drugs for a drug lord. That is it, end of story, there isn’t much to it. I slept in till 7:20 this morning and was subjected in the early morning hours to this mind numbing torture. All I experienced today was 107 minutes of pain and agony. I recognized Jason Statham from previous films. (his character’s name is Bacon? Let’s not even go there.) I knew there were drugs involved. I got that is was based in England or some where they speak in a British tongue with really bad accents. (mixed in with frequent cursing) What I didn’t figure out was a point to it all. I mean really, where is the plot? What is the storyline? Is there any reason for me to continue watching this waste of time and effort? Any good reason? At the end of this movie I didn’t know weather to cry ,vomit, or bludgeon myself slowly for having watched this deplorable film. I believe standing waste deep in leech infested water would have been a better use of my time than watching this movie. I can only assume the writers of this is this screenplay were grown up. It is obvious however they didn’t learn what I did in middle school. If the plot of a movie can be summed up in just one sentence it just isn’t much of a movie. Grade F

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A note from an editor!

Hi Matthew,

Thank you for the time and effort you put into this piece, especially on a Saturday morning. I can tell you definitely took good notes of everything that was going on during the event!

We still have some work to do before this piece is ready to print. Your piece has a lot of information, but it doesn’t sound like a news article. What was the point of his speech/presentation? Why was he addressing this audience? What is Vanguard? What does the company do – who does it serve? You spend a lot of time narrating (for example, how he was injured), but did not report on the purpose of the event. You can maybe mention his appearance/joking about it in a sentence or two, but do not take several paragraphs to do so. Also, I like how you mentioned where the name “Vanguard” comes from.

There are a lot of spelling errors in this piece – make sure you proof read each sentence carefully.

I know I am getting back to you a little later I hoped, and I’m sorry about that! But if you have time tonight, please go through my suggestions and try to rework your piece. You can send me what you have tonight/tomorrow morning. Please bring a copy of it to the meeting tomorrow and we will discuss it further from there.

Once again, thanks for your hard work and promptness! Remember this is a learning process, and we are all part of the Waltonian team!

Talk to you soon!

Ten Most pathetic movie stars that still have careers.

(In A - B -C Order)

1. Hayden Christensen

2. Tom Crusie

3. Kevin Costner

4. Keeanu Reeves

5. Denise Richards

6. Adam Sandler

7. Arnold Schwarzenegger

8. William Shatner

9. Sylvester Stalloan

10. John Claude Van dahm